Girl doesn't want a relationship?

Basically, I'm at Uni and I was seeing this girl for around 5 months before we broke off for the summer.

We weren't officially an "item" because she's scared of relationships and hates the idea of being dependent on someone. And, to be fair, I'm not keen on the idea either, but unlike her, I'd never rule one out if I met the right person.

She had her moments over those 5 months where she'd say that we were getting too close and it was getting too serious etc etc but eventually she'd always calm down and concede that she really didn't want to stop seeing me. Neither of has have really had a proper relationship before (I'm picky as hell).

I'm considerably more sexually experienced than her but that wasn't an issue for me at all, we never had sex but I was quite happy to keep it that way until she felt ready, so there's no way that that's the issue.

She lives in Ireland and I live on the east coast. I would quite happily have made the effort over summer but she felt it was too "relationshippy" so we just spoke over Facebook for around 4 months over summer and never saw each other. It was all looking like a dead certainty that we'd be seeing each other again, but when we met up around 3 weeks ago she said that she was wasting my time as she didn't want a relationship etc etc, so I can't help but feel that the only reason this happened was because she had 4 months to distance herself from me.

Yet still, she was clearly having to force herself to break up with me - which is what bugs me the most. We both still want each other but she won't allow herself to get close to anyone. She says she doesn't want anything serious, but that someone would just get hurt if we tried it casually - which is probably right.

In a normal situation I'd let this go but it's just ridiculous - we both want each other, we're both the first person we've ever really liked enough to spend excessive time with, we don't even have to do anything except lie around and talk to have a really nice night... it was perfect.

It took us both 20 years to find someone like that and even though rationally I know that there are other fish in the sea etc etc... well, I want that fish!

This is turning into more of a groan than a question, but can someone please shed some light on the female mind? Because I can barely even empathise with her, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. We were perfect together, we'd never liked anyone else, we'd never argued... what else can a guy possibly do?

Or, alternatively, how should I go about this? Is it worth becoming friends with her and trying to work my way back up to a relationship, or is that setting myself up for a fall?